Three crooks should have done their homework before trying to make a cash withdrawal from the Tame Valley Industrial Estate.
The hapless trio failed to figure out how well ATMs were stuck down before trying to pinch one from the Co-op, in Wilnecote.
Despite using straps and ropes hooked onto a vehicle to yank the cash machine out of the building, they found to their horror it was going nowhere.
Crime's a grind
Not even the angle grinder they brought along to detach the ATM from the floor seemed to do the trick.
The crooks are described as, "three men dressed in dark clothing". It is not known if they were red-faced too.
They, 'struck', at around 8.35pm, on Friday, November 4.
Keen for a chat
Even though they left without the cash, Staffordshire Police are keen to talk to them.
Officers were on the scene immediately the alarm was raised but, despite scouring the area, they could not find the inept criminals.
But they believe people in the area at the time could well have seen, or heard, them.
Please ring '101'
They are asking anyone with information about the incident to ring them, on '101', quoting incident 845, of November 4.
Information can also be given anonymously via Crimestoppers, on 0800 555 111, or through their online form (click here).
No personal details are taken. Information cannot be traced, or recorded.
People giving information anonymously do not go to court.
Burton - crooks go ape, who's got 'Kong'?
The dynamic duo attacking the shop above should have read the sign over the door.
They were caught on no fewer than 17 high-resolution, state-of-the-art surveillance systems as they broke into the security specialists.
One crook moved like lightening as he smashed his way into a filling station and flung a sturdy chain around the ATM.
He scrambled back through the broken glass, leaped into his waiting truck, jammed the throttle to the floorboards and disappeared in a cloud of burning rubber.
He also forget to connect the chain to the rope attached to the back of his vehicle.
A pair of would-be gangsters tried stealing an ATM without first figuring out how to get to the huge bolt that fixed it firmly to the ground.
It was not clear if they needed prosecuting or looking after when strode off to a shop down the road and tried their luck with an identical ATM .